Fear of Fighting Review
Fear of fighting is completely natural and normal. If you aren’t afraid of violence then there is something wrong with you.
Fear is a normal response. It is your brain telling you that something isn’t right, that you need to pay attention and get ready.
It is almost better to replace the word “fear” with preparation.
Fear saves your life every single day. It tells you to look both ways before you walk out into the street. It tells you to lock your doors. Check to see if the stove is turned off, etc.
And of course if you see something that looks dangerous it makes you pay attention so that you can either avoid it or get ready for it.
Fear is your friend.
So don’t shame yourself for having a fear of fighting… Just think about it correctly.
How to Deal with Fear of Fighting – Review
In part 1 I covered 2 things you can do in the moment right before the fight when you feel fear.
#1 – Acknowledge the Fear
Seriously, thank the fear. Remember it is your friend and it is looking out for you. Make an ally out of it.
If you don’t acknowledge your fear it will control you. But if you validate or tell yourself that “it is ok to feel fear” then the emotion loosens its grip on you so you can focus on the task at hand.
By the way this trick works for any emotion you feel in life. Anger, jealousy, depression, etc. It doesn’t make the cause of those emotions go away. But what it does is tells your brain that you are normal in feeling the response so you aren’t battling both the emotion AND the cause of the emotion.
In the case of fear of fighting it means that you aren’t battling both the fear of the fight AND the actual fight but just the actual fight.
#2 – Control Your Breathing
The quickest way to go into panic mode is to take rapid short breaths in and out through your mouth.
The quickest way to calm your nervous system and get focused is to do the opposite…
Take in slower, deeper breaths in and out through your nose only.
This helps regulate your oxygen to carbon dioxide levels which supplies more blood and oxygen to your brain so you can focus.
How does someone breathe when they are having a panic attack? Short rapid breaths in and out through the mouth… Don’t do that!
FEAR as an Acronym
Combatives coach Tony Blauer describes fear as an acronym:
F – E – A – R – False Evidence Appearing Real
False evidence is where you ascribe something that you “think” makes someone tough when it really doesn’t have anything to do with it.
Is the guy bald?
Does he have a scary looking face?
Lots of tattoos?
Has he spent time in prison?
Is he a gang member?
Does he have big muscles?
Don’t let looks fool you. Tough people usually don’t act tough and some of the most dangerous people around don’t look or carry themselves in a manner to show off how dangerous they are.
Georges St. Pierre one of the most successful champions in UFC history looked like the nicest male model ever to show up to your Bible study…
Also remember that even if someone is big and strong they can still be beaten.
I remember in high school there was a guy who could bench press over 300 lbs. He got into a fight with another guy who kicked his butt. The guy who kicked his butt probably couldn’t bench press his own bodyweight.
The moral of the story is don’t assign special powers or abilities to your opponent. You can hurt them.
Limiting Beliefs
What is more insidious is when people have limiting self beliefs.
Most people never achieve success because they get in their own way. They allow their limiting self beliefs to… limit them.
Perhaps you don’t think you can land your strikes or avoid your opponent’s strikes, even though you are great in practice.
It isn’t so much about how amazing you perceive that your opponent is like it is with False Evidence Appearing Real… It is more about how low you view yourself.
Why did this happen to you?
Maybe you have lost fights in the past. Maybe you were bullied. And perhaps no one ever taught you how to be a winner.
The important thing to remember is those are all in your past and you can create a new mindset. One that sets you up to win.
Self Reflection to Get Over Self Limiting Beliefs
If you are limited by your own beliefs then here is a thought exercise that if you work on regularly will help move you away from those negative beliefs.
Spend a couple of minutes every day, get somewhere that you won’t be disturbed, and think about the following questions.
Now you might need to customize some of these to be more specific to you but here is a list to get you started:
If you lost a fight in the past
If you FEAR that your opponent is so much better than you
You can change your mindset to turn yourself into a confident winner. But it takes time and exposure for new ideas to connect.
That means get your reps.
I’d recommend a daily practice that lasts for just a minute or two.
Cus D’Amato said, “the hero and the coward feel the same thing.”
But the hero accepts that fear is normal while the coward tells themself that they shouldn’t be afraid (this creates shame of having the fear). This allows the hero to rise up while the coward hides.
Conclusion
Everyone is human and can be beaten. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people out there who are very tough but are you judging the right characteristics?
If you train on a consistent basis and are fairly skilled then you are a dangerous person. Use the self reflection drill above to connect your mindset to your skillset.
Fear is your friend not your enemy.
Until next time,
Brian
