Why Women’s ONLY Self-Defense?
Why would a woman want to attend a women’s only self-defense course?
Well for one she would probably feel more comfortable without any men there. Especially if she has had any traumatic past experiences with men.
And next she might believe that the training would be specific to how a woman could hurt a man.
And to be fair BOTH of these ideas are completely legitimate.
However like always there is more to this topic, so allow me to share my thoughts and experience on the topic of women’s self-defense.
What Women’s Only Self-Defense WON’T Prepare You For
While the concept of a women’s only self-defense course is good intentioned and might even have some value there are some glaring problems to overcome.
Emotional Preparedness
1st a woman needs to be able to EMOTIONALLY desensitize herself to being in close quarters with a man.
Let’s face it, it is emotionally challenging for anyone to be in close quarters in a violent situation with another person. But even more so for a female against a man.
However like anything in life avoiding your problems never solves them.
In this case if a female is uncomfortable training with men in a controlled training environment imagine how much worse it will be if – God forbid – she has to fight a man for real?
But if she can overcome that uncomfortable experience now in training then if it happens in real life it won’t be nearly as bad and she can focus on fighting and winning.
The worst thing you would want to do is crumble in a life-or-death or something worse situation.
Safe Progressive Training
This is where a safe progressive approach to training comes into play.
Rather than throwing the new female into a scary training situation it is smarter to ease her into it slowly. Allow her to experience success, and then increase the challenge.
Of course this is how all training should go for pretty much everything for both men and women.
Physical Preparedness
Next you ladies must be prepared to deal with a man’s physical size and strength.
The fact of the matter is that even when a man and woman have the same exact amount of muscle the man will still be stronger.
Men can activate a high number of motor units. We can utilize more of our strength. Our bones are thicker and our joints are more robust. This means we are more durable and can activate more of our muscle fibers.
To be fair there are absolutely some strong women out there just like there are some weaker men out there. But on average you simply just can’t expect a female to be as strong as her male counterpart.
Not to mention there is probably a 40+ lb weight advantage that the guy has.
So what does that mean?
What might work for a woman to do against another woman may not work so well against a guy.
The solution of course is that women should train with men so they can figure out how to use skill, leverage, technique, etc. to overcome size and strength.
Men’s and Women’s Self-Defense are the Same
Now you might be thinking, “wait a minute Brian, if men are bigger and stronger than women then the same punches and kicks that men throw may not work when a female uses them against a man.”
And I’d say you were right.
For example… if a female throws a shin kick to the thigh Muay Thai-style the man may not be injured at all.
It would be much better for her to aim that same kick right up main street to the testicles.
And if it would work better for a female then guess what?
It would work better for a man to kick the other man in the testicles too.
Are you starting to see my point?
Yet it is so common that men want to win the fight by fighting in a certain way rather than in the most effective way.
I’ve had people tell me they want to learn Wing Chun Kung Fu (or fill in the blank) as if that is supposed to the the ultimate martial art.
The reality is if you are faced with REAL violence you will want to win in any way that you can and with a second lower priority of staying out of legal reprocussions.
Use of Force
Which leads me to the only real difference between men’s and women’s self-defense and that is use of force.
A female would be far more justified using a self-defense weapon against a male attacker than another male would.
This is due to the comparison of capabilities of each individual.
For a man to be justified to use a weapon in self-defense there needs to be a large disparity of force just like there is between the female and her male attacker.
For example the man might need to be getting jumped by multiple attackers, a REALLY big guy, or an elderly gent against a younger man.
PSA to You Guys
I have heard so many women tell me the story of how after only a few training sessions they go home and show their husband, boyfriend, brother, etc. what they have learned.
The guy is like, “ok, show me what they taught you.”
The gal shows in slow motion while explaining it and suddenly the guy reverses it and puts her in a hold of some kind.
Well duh!
She just freaking learned the move, isn’t good at it yet, and was demonstrating it while the guy was ready for it.
Doing this to your lady-friend is very discouraging for her.
Sure sure you are the alpha dog, we get it, but let me tell you something.
YOU WANT THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE TO BE BAD ASSES!
Know why?
Because if she is a bad ass there are less things in life that can keep her from coming home safely to you.
So I encourage you to be her encourager.
Who Attacks Women?
Yes there are creepers lurking in the shadows ready to jump out.
Yes there are random acts of violence… however…
Recently several women found themselves unable to defend their child when a male attacker went onto a playground and started stabbing children.
A man recently went up to a woman who was just walking down the sidewalk and beat her to death with a baseball bat for no reason.
So yes, there are real threats out there.
But a lot of acts of violence against women are from someone that they know.
Why does this happen?
Simple… painful to hear but simple…
How you feel about yourself on the inside will reflect how you allow others to treat you.
If you don’t feel like you are valuable then you will let the wrong people enter your life and those people do not have your best intentions in mind.
The solution is for you to learn that you are a valuable person. And if you don’t feel like you are valuable then start behaving like you are valuable and watch what happens to the way you feel about yourself.
Mixed Martial Arts Classes to the Rescue
No I don’t mean the sport of MMA per se.
I mean a mix of both men and women. That way women can practice against other women and against men.
And those classes should teach reality-based realistic martial arts. A 2nd best would be sport martial arts like BJJ or MMA. I personally wouldn’t bother with anything else.
Until next time,
Brian
